I fall down and make my hand got hurt and most them I feel so embarrass But I was look stronger although I was weak. Because the hot weather bite me so badly and I didn't know my way. I found some expensive hostel and it was out of my budged. I should turn way to get some cheaper hostel or home stay. I find it and I feel happy for that.
Traveling alone has plus and minus. I know that, the plus I can go whatever I want without annoying friends and waiting agreement from friends. I can enjoy nature as long as I want in the outdoor. Raining was not big problem for me became wet. I didn't care if I should go back to city with wet clothes, as long as I was happy in that.
I also feel so close with the created earth. God. I can feel and look the amazing nature which God made it by His hand. I can close my eyes and breathe the fresh air and cold weather chilly me but I didn't care. I look freedom in my mind. I didn't think about what should I do next when in the nature. I just feel and said and wanna yell.... "Finally I am here, I am so happy." Can you imagine, my first step here without a friend who company me. Sound I lost my way then I find the wonderful pearl in the world. Freedom and magic around me. People looked at me strange, because I was the only local tourism who come alone. Did I care what they think? They think I was crazy and poor because I didn't have a friend or group friends to company my ways.
That was I know in every part of my journey. Some old men and female ask some question. Where was my friend? Why I travel alone? Aren't you feel afraid to travel alone? Was it wrong for a woman to traveling alone? Maybe they think I was so pity didn't have friends. But inside my heart I really enjoy my adventure.
Lost in Bandung with argument the Driver
The strong memories when I did argument with the Driver Cikoleg who ask me more money to bring me to Tangkuban Perahu, but I just want to the gate not not entrance to up. I told him to normal price, but "they" made trick behind me. I just realize when the man should pay more expensive then normal price when he turn and ask how much he should pay. I think it was not true and also the inside angkot look two of the driver friends with tato. When I want to seat this transportation, I took away my scary on my mind. But it was true, that was so scary and I turn with the man and then they made argument and ask me to go with them. Of course I won't, but lucky me. A man who one angkot with me, help me with just stay there without move to meet his friend. Thanks God, You still protected me from the evil or bad people.Honestly, got "lost" in forest or someplace you never know it, it was so scary and also the transportation was not easy to find it. But I did believe it, something worth it in my journey. I was not weakness, I was autonomous; I stand with my own feet; I more close with the God, because I did believe it He will protected me from the bad mind people about me.
Making Plan and Get Mess
Making plan so easy but when do it sometimes it was not like what I did plan, it was getting mess. Did I feel disappointed because it was raining and never stop raining? Or something disaster made my plan mess? No, I didn't feel it made my days worse or bad. I just though I was not lucky today maybe other day more lucky.
Human can made plan but sometimes the plan never can be real or get mess, but that was not meaning the hole day or future will be so dark and without hope. Always has hope in every problem in alive. Like this time, I am still not find job because I am still not sent my resume because I am confused what should I do and want this time? I just need survive and try to find way how to survive without get more problem inside it. My sister wants marriage in March, I should attend to her wedding. If I got job, I can't attend. So what should I do? All so confused. I should choose, which one I want? I also wanna meet my guardian angel; if I got job I can't meet my guardian angel? so complicated. I just make my life is like water and I just wish will find the way to my problems. I won't to make my plan for the future. Because I did fall a few times because all my plan always get mess. But Did I give up with that? Did I rejected the hope to get better life and dreams? No, as long as I breathe, although I was so damn poor and helpless but I did believe always find good way as long as I know maybe will need long time, maybe can be short time. But everything dark life, will change to be white life.Colorful People
I find many interested people around me. Everybody has different opinion and experience and all it so wonderful, they want to shared their little life and adventure they get and find. The old man from Spain, I met when I was waiting my train to Surabaya. He was so damn old, maybe his age around 60 and also got sick permanent, he couldn't eat food just vegetable and juice only. Most of his daily he always drink juice. Although he known he couldn't smoke but he still fan of smoke. His never stop smoke although he just got surgery but he didn't care about the healthy. But he loves to traveling alone and get to Asia for long time ago. The most place in Indonesia, he likes so badly East Indonesia. Wow so lucky he was, he always traveling around asia and all Indonesian. I never do that! I felt so amazing people can appreciate Indonesia but some Indonesian people can't appreciate it. Why I can said that words. When I went to Batu Malang, Water fall, this place already has trash from clay so it will match with the view nature. But still find some people throw garbage in every part the stone. So damn silly, why they can't care to make this place keep clean. What was difficult to throw their candy warp, mineral bottle or other their trash in that place. The same case also, some people throw garbage in the sea when I went to Lombok from Bali with ferry need 5 hours to get to my destination. Silly and stupid people, didn't care about nature. Don't they think the nature is not just their belong but for the future people, your kid, your grand kids,
Beach Beach, I Love Beach
What was the most wonderful moment, when I can see with my own eyes the beautiful beach and friendly weather. The blue sky and sea that is like one line become one. Nice view and perfect time with waves and wind flew my hair. Although I can't swimming but I didn't care, i let big waves make me wet so badly. I stay there and a few seconds big wet will make me get little move. The water sea to strong make the waves big. so the big waves make my small body get nothing inside them. I laugh freedom when I couldn't stand in the place I stand. It is like life. Sometimes when the problems come to our life, if we strong we can stay in the line but sometimes if the problems to big that will make we move from the line. But we still stand and try to strong to waiting any waves (problems) again. Beach always teach me, although look so beautiful in front but sometimes it can be mess and just keep strong to waiting the dark sky gone. Keep your mind positive and don't give up. I always said by myself I am strong woman although I am so weak. I always said to myself, I am strong and sad never come (although the sadness always come) but it will never make my days worse because I always smile and the world will smile to me but if I am crying then I will cry alone.
Dream and Reality are Different
Do you know movie, they always had happy ending story; but sometimes in real life that is impossible. Don't you think like that? One of my neighbor has dream became rich people like one artist in Indonesia who always traveling to the world with own airplane.But we can make dream and pretended it is true but when open eyes we can see the reality. Dream and reality are different but you can make your dream become true when you work hard and some people death to much work but never get their dream. So what should you do? Blessing life because you get healthy and smart brain; because it will make your life better. Don't look the social network life but look the poor people then you can feel blessing in your life. Dream is making you strong; because you will try to make it true. Like my dream will find nice job, become writer and be good wife, but first all, i should have a friendly, welcome, warm man to fill my days with laugh, tears, teasing, "fight" different opinion then laugh after argument.
I know, in real life, like fairy tale of story cinderella, aurora prince, snow white princess fairy tale to find nice and cute charming prince is not true. But hoping to find nice man to fill life till the world end is wonderful dream and it can be real if you met the right one who understand the bad and good side the person you love. because everybody is not same. You can't compare it, the fairy tale story also different case and character but with the same happy ending. I do believe dream and reality can be together in the end of this world. All depend on the person who want believe it or not.
Strong Like Mountain
People think women are weak, but can you imagine woman also strong like mountain. This words I get inspiration when I went to Bromo Mountain and Kawah Ijen. Sometimes we can't see the future because many fog and make it like myth and mysterious. But step by step when fog gone, you can see the wonderful view you ever catch with your own eyes.
When in the dark, we can't see anything. We look so weakness and helpless, but if you fight and try to strong although it so difficult, the cold weather bite your skin and make your body shake but you try to make it gone and you are waiting minute by minute are like hell. But you don't care it. You are waiting until you get what you want. You don't give up. Then the fog step by step gone and step by step too you can see the little view till full of view you can catch it. Problems also like that, if you can stand with your own feet and you won't give up, you can get the reward about it. But to get reward you should cry, cry and cry but the ending, full smiling in your face.
I found my soul, my spirit and my dream and now I just need make them similar with my reality life. I won't give up. I will work harder to finish my backpacker book and also my journey adventure book in Indonesia language. Because I am strong woman.
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